What Happens if a Child Wants to Live with One Parent in New Jersey?

Understand If, When, and How Much a Child’s Parental Preference Can Impact the Outcome of a Custody Case.

Determining child custody is arguably the most difficult decision a Family Court judge is required to effectuate. Child custody rulings can create circumstances that incite radical change in the family members’ daily lives. Transportation schedules, living arrangements, and new family members in the way of step-siblings can contribute to a whirlwind of anxiety and instability for children, at least until the dust settles. To determine which custody arrangement is most beneficial, the judge must weigh the evidence from many sources, such as parents, teachers, family members, and children. Having a highly experienced, empathetic, and trusted family lawyer to navigate this process with you is an invaluable resource. Our knowledgeable team of family law attorneys at Montanari Law Group wants to support you and protect you and your children’s rights during this challenging process. Contact us anytime to speak with a dedicated child custody attorney at our firm about your particular situation.

What Matters to Courts when Deciding Custody in New Jersey?

New Jersey is one of many states that rely on the “best interests standard” (N.J.S.A. 9:2-4(c)) when deciding custody arrangements. The parents’ ability to communicate clearly and cooperate for their children’s well-being and their willingness to support the children’s relationship with the other parents and siblings are evaluated. The parents’ attention to the child’s needs and safety, as well as the parents’ health and fitness to care for the children, are also appraised. Each parent’s employment, the amount of time spent with the children before the separation, and their geographical proximity to the other parent and the children’s school. Depending upon the children’s age, a judge will usually consider the children’s input when possible. If there is any history of domestic violence, decisions will be made accordingly.

A Legal Perspective on a Child’s Preference for Which Parent to Live With in NJ

An individual is considered a minor until they are 18 years old. Legally, minors cannot decide with whom they will live or how much time will be spent with each parent. Their opinion is not legally binding, but children who are older and have a sufficient level of maturity may have the ability to sway a judge’s decision. A judge must consider several factors, including the best interest standard, the practicality of the proposed custody arrangements, and, ultimately, the child’s well-being and safety. These decisions are made on a case-by-case basis and require all parties’ input.

The judge usually interviews children aged 8 to 17. These interviews are frequently conducted in chambers and recorded as direct testimony, which can seem intimidating in a courtroom in front of their parents and respective attorneys. Judges can determine how much weight they will give to the child’s testimony. For example, suppose 12-year-old Emma wants to live exclusively with her mother because her father is more involved with her schoolwork and makes sure she does her homework, stays off of her cell phone, and has limited screen time. In that case, her opinion may not be considered.

However, if Brandon prefers living with his father because he is constantly bullied and harassed by his step-siblings with little intervention from the adults, his preference could be considered more heavily. Many subtle circumstances can challenge a judge when making custody decisions. It is not one factor but a combination of needs, opinions, and situations that the judge must weigh to render a fair decision.

Methods for Children to Share Their Wishes in NJ Custody Proceedings

A child can participate in an interview with the judge in what are deemed in-chambers or in-camera hearings, where a court reporter is present. This atmosphere can be less intimidating than testifying in the courtroom. The judge will ask the child questions related to their relationship with their parents, such as what activities they do together, what their bedroom is like if they have friends nearby both parents, and why the child prefers one parent over the other. A similar process can take place through mediation. The child can speak with the mediator with the parents present, without them, with the parent’s lawyers, or with a therapist who can help the child express their opinion.

Sometimes, the court appoints a guardian ad litem (GAL) to make recommendations regarding custody and parenting time. The GAL conducts interviews with the parents and children, documents evidence such as reports from teachers, therapists, doctors, and social workers, and interviews with family members, family friends, and others who can give a detailed picture of the child’s interaction and state of mind with each parent.

Older children will sometimes have their attorney to represent their interests in the custody process. This is relatively uncommon but is within the parameters of creating a custody agreement. They may feel more in control of the process with an attorney representing their perspective and protecting their rights.

Children’s Desires for Living Arrangements Do Not Outweigh Safety and Stability Concerns in Custody Cases

Circumstances regarding the children’s safety take precedence over anything else. Suppose a parent has a history of domestic violence, substance abuse, financial instability, or anger management issues, and the judge fears for the children’s safety. In that case, they most likely will not take the children’s wishes into account. Additionally, the Court takes issue with a parent who encourages their children to alienate the other parent by not accepting phone calls, answering texts, or having parenting time, or someone who speaks poorly of the parent, manipulating the children into refusing a relationship with them.

Secure Experienced Legal Help from Montanari Law Group to Balance Your Child’s Parental Choice in the Midst of a Custody Case in New Jersey

Whether through litigation, mediation, arbitration, collaborative law, or negotiation, our seasoned attorneys at Montanari Law Group know what an emotional and challenging matter child custody can be. When possible, we can facilitate productive communication that reduces conflict between the parties while creating an agreement that benefits all involved. Our lawyers are well-equipped to incorporate the child’s preferences for their living situation and negotiate solutions such as shared custody, alternating holidays, extended visits, or vacations.

In custody cases that proceed to court, the court will decide what is best for the child. Our job is to present your case as completely and clearly as possible. We can skillfully present the child’s wishes to the Court in a clear, respectful, and informative manner, while also balancing your perspective on what is in their best interests. Our team can also call witnesses such as teachers, coaches, and family friends to buttress the child’s opinion regarding custody. Sometimes, we also use expert witnesses such as psychologists, doctors, and other specialists who will support their side and yours to achieve your desired result.

Our law firm proudly serves clients in Caldwell, Montclair, Verona, Woodland Park, Wyckoff, Paramus, Fort Lee, and throughout Passaic County, Bergen County, Essex County, Hudson County, and Northern New Jersey. We are dedicated to helping our clients with navigating child custody matters to achieve the best possible outcome. Call us today for a free consultation at (973) 233-4396  or reach out to our attorneys online.