Who Gets Custody of an Infant in New Jersey?
Everyone welcomes the arrival of their newborn, but caring for an infant is exhausting and challenging, even more so when the child’s parents are divorced or separated. Infants do not interpret the tension between their caregivers. It can make them feel insecure, withdrawn, clingy, and unexplainably fussy or restless. Psychologists indicate that the care infants receive from their parents develops bonds of trust. It is crucial that parents follow the same schedules and practices for the infant to establish a secure environment through consistent acts of physical and emotional care. Additionally, separation can cause anxiety in a very young baby. Dramatic changes in routines such as feeding or sleeping, arguing or conflict between the parents in the baby’s presence, and the emotional distress of either or both parents can adversely affect the baby’s well-being and development.
Considering an Infant’s Distinct Needs in NJ Custody Matters
The “best interests of the child” standard is a series of factors the courts use to determine the custody arrangements. These factors include the child’s age and health, the parent’s employment, physical and mental stability, employment, economic situation, and willingness to co-parent. Clearly, this must account for an infant’s unique needs at this time of their life. From infancy to 12 months of age, the baby’s emotional, social, and physical milestones require almost constant interaction between parents and child. Babies are more secure when an established routine is followed because familiarity is comforting. This can be challenging to accomplish when custody is shared. The first few months of life are essential to build lasting bonds.
Parental Interaction and Bonding During Key Milestones
From birth to two months, a baby can already recognize the face and voice of a caregiver. By 4 months, they will smile and respond vocally when spoken to. A feeding schedule can be attempted at this time. By 6 months, they can recognize familiar faces and show a preference for who they want to interact with or be held by. This is also when they begin to eat solid foods complemented by breastmilk or formula. As they continue to develop, they will require more play and interaction to build communication skills, emotional milestones, and physical abilities. By 9 months, they show more facial expressions such as fear, sadness, frustration, joy, and surprise. They enjoy interactive play such as songs and peek-a-boo. They will react when their caregiver leaves the room. By 12 months, they can say two-syllable words such as mama, dada, ball, etc. They understand “no” and begin to exercise their autonomy.
The court is responsible for considering these milestones when determining a parenting plan. The judge must prioritize the infant’s needs over the parent’s preferences. Establishing a bond with an infant requires more than a few hours a day, two or three times per week. An infant should have a routine that includes frequent, if not daily, contact with both parents.
Breastfeeding is also an issue. Many couples don’t want to use formula unless it is essential, but that can limit a custody agreement, especially when the divorce is acrimonious, or there is a history of domestic violence.
Planning Around a Baby’s Feeding Schedule
A happy, healthy infant is well-fed and rested. Many couples are concerned about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of obesity in the early and later stages of life. It also augments the immunological response to illness, meaning fewer pediatric visits and less discomfort. It reduces the probability of diabetes or hypertension, promotes a favorable microbiome (gut health), and, most importantly, provides a unique bond between the baby and the mother that has been proven to lower anxiety in both the mother and child. The mother also receives benefits such as decreased breast cancer risk, fewer incidents of severe postpartum depression, and improved metabolic function.
During the first three months, an infant feeds on demand, which can be every two to four hours, depending on the child. Literature suggests that a minimum of 4 hours, three times a week, is enough to establish a relationship between parent and child. The best situation would be for both parents to care for the child for several hours in the mother’s residence. If the parents cannot share the same space (as in the case of domestic violence), the mother can pump her breastmilk, or feedings can be supplemented with formula.
Accommodating Infant Sleep Needs
At 3 months, the baby should sleep 15 of every 24 hours, with 10 hours of nighttime sleep and the other five hours spread over three or four naps. They will probably wake up a few times during the night to feed. They are too young at this point to put on an actual sleep schedule, but by watching their sleep patterns, it will be easier to plan parenting time. Sleep training and a stricter sleep schedule can make planning parenting time much easier by six months of age. Also, at this age, infants can start eating solid foods in combination with breastmilk or formulas, which will satiate them more, and they won’t wake up as often during the night.
Creating a bedtime routine that both parents adhere to makes bedtime much easier. Whether it is a bath, story-time, songs, or other bedtime habits, both parents must participate in a similar routine to help the baby settle down.
Exploring Smart Alternatives to Traditional Infant Custody in NJ
At least during the first six months, 50/50 shared custody may not be possible, but the courts are open to plans agreed upon by the parents that better fit the infant’s needs. Feeding on demand and frequent diaper changes mean shorter sleep cycles for the baby. Parenting time should be molded to give parents equal time without negatively affecting the baby’s needs. Separation anxiety can cause problems for the infant and the parents. No one wants to feel as if they are causing their own child angst by taking them away from the other parent. One approach is to have one parent care for the baby during the day and the other to take them at night. The most important component is consistency. Infants do not like surprises. They thrive on routine and predictability. Once the child is at least 6 months old, the custody plan can be modified into gradual overnight visits such as weekends or a few days during the week.
Every couple will have a different parenting plan. The key is to focus on the baby’s needs and communicate clearly with one another. Compromise and cooperation are essential to making a custody plan work. Remember, a plan for an infant will eventually change once they are older. A toddler’s needs are different from that of a newborn. Before making any major decisions, it is recommended that the parents sit down and discuss their concerns and fears and offer solutions to create a physically and emotionally safe environment for the baby.
Discuss Your Infant Custody Plan With Our Experienced Family Lawyers in North Jersey
Custody agreements can be challenging because parents have an incredible physical and emotional bond with their baby from delivery on through adulthood. Having a lawyer who is not only empathetic, but experienced and able to navigate the complexities of a custody agreement under these circumstances, can make all the difference. At the Montanari Law Group, our family law attorneys will negotiate a fair plan protecting custodial rights for parents with infants. We know you want to be an integral part of your infant’s life and will work out a plan that fits your and your child’s needs. With skill, our lawyers will present your case in court, providing the arguments and evidence to secure a decision in your favor. Moreover, we will modify the custody orders you need to continue supporting your child’s rights to have a relationship and continued time with you.
Our firm proudly serves clients in Passaic County, Bergen County, Essex County, and across Northern New Jersey. If you are expecting a baby or are looking to establish an infant parenting agreement that fits your needs, call us today at (973) 233-4396 or contact us online, and we can answer any questions you may have.
