Ways to Avoid a Courtroom Divorce
I Want to Divorce Outside of Court in New Jersey, What can I Do?
When people picture divorce, they often picture contentious arguments in front of a judge, complete with screaming, tears, and lawyers objecting. While this may occur in some extremely high-conflict divorces, it doesn’t have to be this way. Many couples are capable of having a calm, respectful divorce that allows them to preserve a relationship and still walk away happy with the outcome of their divorce. If you would like to be one of those couples, you may want to consider choosing from a variety of other divorce options that New Jersey offers. These alternatives to traditional divorce allow you to save time and money while finding peaceful resolutions to the typical issues that arise in divorce matters. Contact Montanari Law Group at (973) 233-4396 to learn more.
Comparing Courtroom Divorce to Out of Court Avenues
A courtroom divorce can be expensive and time-consuming. First, the spouses must file the appropriate paperwork with the necessary filing fees. Then, they must wait for a hearing date. While they can handle other divorce matters during this wait, such as completing a marital settlement agreement on the issues they agree on, the wait can be as short as a few weeks or as long as a few months. Even worse, this wait is out of the couple’s control.
Most out of court divorce options are both faster and less expensive than a traditional courtroom divorce. There is usually a much shorter wait as there are many arbitrators, mediators, and lawyers who can assist with these matters, and there is more scheduling flexibility. The fees associated with a courtroom divorce can be much higher, as there may be high attorney fees along with court costs. Alternative divorce options are often less expensive because they take less time.
Finally, a courtroom divorce can often leave important or sensitive matters in the hands of the judge, which may result in one or both spouses being unhappy with the outcome of their divorce. With an out of court divorce option, such as mediation or collaborative divorce, the divorcing spouses retain control over the decisions, allowing them to walk away feeling much more satisfied with the outcome.
Five Savvy Methods to Circumvent Traditional Divorce
For couples who would like to avoid a courtroom divorce, there are several options in New Jersey. Arbitration, mediation, collaborative divorce, settlement negotiations, and do-it-yourself (DIY) divorces are all alternatives that these couples can explore. However, it is important to understand how each method works before choosing one. Knowing the advantages and drawbacks of each can make a significant difference in which method the spouses ultimately choose.
Mediation: A Flexible Path Through Divorce
Mediation is informal, includes a third-party mediator, and typically does not involve the spouses’ attorneys. The mediator acts as a neutral third party to help the spouses find resolutions to their divorce issues. The mediator asks questions to facilitate discussions, finds common ground on which the spouses can build their agreements, ensures that both spouses feel their concerns have been heard and addressed, and helps them find a mutually agreed-upon settlement.
Mediation is not binding, which means if the spouses do not find an agreement or later decide they are not happy with the agreement they made, they can go to court or use another method. Mediation is a good option for low-conflict divorces where the spouses generally get along well and may have only one or two issues to resolve. Even if they need to resolve many issues, mediation is a more relaxed and compassionate environment that allows the spouses to feel more comfortable discussing the issues. Additionally, mediation is confidential, which means that anything discussed during mediation sessions remains between the couple and their mediator, and all agreements are kept out of the public record.
Collaborative Divorce: A Team Approach to Resolution
Collaborative divorce takes a similar approach to mediation in that the divorcing couple is seeking mutually agreeable solutions. However, there is no mediator in a collaborative divorce, and each spouse’s attorney is present during the process. Collaborative divorce is more structured, with an emphasis on cooperation, and requires both spouses to commit to settling their issues outside of a courtroom. This commitment is very important because if the spouses decide to end the collaborative divorce process and go to court, both of their attorneys must withdraw, and the spouses will need to hire new attorneys to represent them in court.
Collaborative divorce also includes other experts, such as child custody experts or financial specialists, who assist the couple in finding solutions. The spouses retain control over the decisions made, taking advice from their attorneys and the experts they have hired. With open communication and full disclosure from both spouses, this approach can result in reduced conflict and save the divorcing couple both time and money.
Arbitration in Divorce: Private Judgments, Binding Results
Arbitration is a legally binding method of divorce that allows both spouses to present their cases to a third-party arbitrator who makes the final decision for them. This is similar to a courtroom divorce, especially since the arbitrator is often a retired judge or attorney, but is more informal and private than a courtroom. Like the other alternative divorce options, the decisions made in arbitration remain private and out of the public record. While the process is quite similar to a courtroom divorce, it does not follow the exact same rules, which allows more flexibility in the decisions that are made.
Once the arbitrator listens to both parties and reviews the evidence presented, they will issue a final legally binding decision. This can save both time and money. However, the legally binding nature of the decision means it cannot be appealed or taken to court later. There are limited circumstances in which the decision can be appealed, but the ability to mutually agree on an arbitrator and carefully outline the scope of the arbitration to ensure that it addresses specifically chosen issues and fits within parameters the couple is comfortable with can make it a good alternative for couples who prefer someone else to make these decisions on their behalf but also want privacy and some sense of control. Arbitration may also be a better alternative for high-conflict divorces where the couple would prefer to stay out of court but cannot get along well enough for mediation or collaborative divorce.
Settlement Negotiations: Working Out Divorce Issues Through Attorneys
Settlement negotiations are a straightforward approach to ending a marriage without going to court. When a couple knows that their marriage is over, but they are still generally amicable with each other, settlement negotiations can be an excellent alternative to resolving their issues. The spouses and their attorneys work together to find resolutions to any issues the couple does not already agree on. There are no neutral third parties, such as mediators or arbitrators. Settlement negotiations may sound like collaborative divorce, but the difference is that if negotiations fail, the couple can still go to court and be represented by the same attorneys they had during the negotiations.
The two spouses maintain open communication and a willingness to be flexible in negotiations, and their attorneys seek common ground upon which to begin building agreements. Attorneys also provide their clients with guidance regarding the settlement process, offering insights into the pros and cons of any settlement on the table so that their client understands the implications of the settlement. This ensures that spouses make legally sound decisions while also keeping their focus on their future goals and finding a settlement that aligns with those goals.
Do-It-Yourself (DIY) Divorce: A Self-Guided Approach
A DIY divorce is exactly what it sounds like a divorce in which the spouses handle the divorce themselves. Typically, this approach allows the spouses to handle the divorce without being represented by an attorney, though some couples do still hire one to review agreements before they are signed and filed or to ask for advice or guidance during the process. With this approach, the spouses work together to draft and file the paperwork and represent themselves. This can feel uncomfortable for some people, so this approach may not be for everyone.
Additionally, the DIY approach also requires the divorcing spouses to agree on critical issues such as child custody and division of property. They will also need to complete a marital settlement agreement outlining those agreements. Therefore, high-conflict divorces in which the couple is unable to agree on child custody, asset division, or other important issues may not be the best fit for a DIY divorce.
A Review of Critical Factors in Selecting Your Divorce Approach
Alternative divorce methods are appealing to many divorcing couples, but choosing one can prove challenging. There are several factors that may influence which approach is best for a particular couple, such as their level of conflict, the complexity of their assets, or their willingness to cooperate.
Considering Conflict Levels
High-conflict couples may benefit more from arbitration or settlement negotiations with their attorneys, while couples without much conflict may prefer mediation or collaborative divorce. When high-conflict couples struggle with agreements, an arbitrator may be able to make a final decision that allows the spouses to let go of the arguments and accept the decision. Alternatively, negotiating with their attorney present may be helpful, as the attorneys can step in when emotions begin to run high. They can take a break or end the negotiations for that day and return another time.
On the other hand, low-conflict couples may be able to easily sit down with a mediator or with their attorneys for a collaborative divorce and hammer out their agreements in a single session. This allows them to retain control and make the decisions that are right for them, while also saving time and money and avoiding having someone else make the decisions for them.
Assessing Asset Complexity
Some couples have only a handful of inexpensive assets, while others have thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions in assets. In addition to how much their assets are worth, there may also be prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements or disagreements over whether a particular asset is a marital asset or one spouse’s separate property prior to the marriage. Some assets, such as a business, are not easy to value and divide between the spouses.
If a divorcing couple knows they have a complex asset situation, they may want to consult with an attorney to review the details of their divorce and seek advice as to which alternative method may be ideal for their circumstances. The complexity of their asset situation is not the only factor that will play a role in this decision, as they will also need to consider their conflict level and whether they can cooperate with each other to make decisions.
Determining Each Spouse’s Willingness to Cooperate
The couple’s willingness to cooperate is also a significant factor in determining which alternative divorce method may be right for them. If a couple is unable or unwilling to cooperate, arbitration may be a better option. Couples who are willing or even eager to cooperate with each other may benefit more from mediation or collaborative divorce.
Weighing the Desired Level of Control
Arbitration takes much of the control away from the spouses, while the other methods allow the couple to maintain some level of control. Many couples consider these alternative options because they wish to maintain some control, so it is important that they decide how much control they want to keep. The amount of control they wish to keep will determine which options they will consider.
Primary Motivations when Couples Choose Out-of-Court Divorces
While there was once a time when a traditional courtroom divorce was the only option, today, spouses have several other options that keep them out of court. People often consider, and may even choose, divorce outside of court for some of the potential advantages these options offer.
Time-Saving Benefits
In most cases, out of court divorce options require less time to complete the divorce process. A courtroom divorce requires waiting for a hearing date, which may take weeks, months, or even years, particularly in high-conflict or high-net-worth divorces. By choosing an out of court method, the divorcing couple is able to do things on their own timeline. They can choose their arbitrator or mediator and schedule sessions around their work or family schedule.
Reduce Divorce Expenses
A courtroom divorce can be very expensive. There are filing and court fees and attorney fees. Divorcing couples can end up using some or all of their assets to litigate a divorce. By opting for an out of court method, couples can avoid depleting their assets to pay for the divorce. Most out of court methods will cost far less than a courtroom divorce, particularly in cases where the spouses are able to work together and quickly find agreements for their issues.
Retain Control: Your Divorce, Your Decisions
A courtroom divorce leaves many decisions up to the judge. Even when the spouses submit a marital settlement agreement or other documents outlining agreements they have made, the judge can decide those documents are not fair or not correctly completed and instead impose their own decisions on the couple. With an alternative divorce option, the couple often retains a significant amount of control over the decisions made, which means that they stand a much higher chance of being satisfied with the outcome. This satisfaction with the outcome also means a reduced chance of conflict in the future as it is less likely that a spouse will want to change a decision unless there is a significant reason to do so.
Keeping Your Privacy Intact
Another advantage that alternative divorce options offer is confidentiality. Most out of court divorce methods keep the information shared and the solutions found private. Much of what is shared in a courtroom divorce becomes public record, often including agreements or orders regarding child custody or support, alimony, or the division of assets. Many couples do not want this information to be public, particularly those who have a high net worth. The privacy that comes with an out of court divorce method is a very appealing advantage for many.
Finding Your Best Divorce Option Through Legal Consultation
Each of the out of court divorce options may sound appealing, but they are not all suited to every divorce. While spouses may be drawn to one particular method, there may be reasons that it is not ideal for their divorce. If a couple considering divorce wants to use an alternative divorce option, they should carefully consider consulting with an attorney to determine which method is most suitable for them. An attorney will be able to review their unique case and explain which methods are most suited to their divorce and which ones are not good options based on all the information.
Multiple Divorce Solutions, One Trusted NJ Legal Team Guiding Your Divorce
At Montanari Law Group, our experienced divorce attorneys have extensive experience in different divorce resolution methods. Our knowledge and skills from years of experience will allow us to represent your interests and assert your rights. Legal representation can often be the difference between a fair outcome and an unbalanced one, particularly if the other party has legal representation. A divorce lawyer on our team can provide guidance and advice, as well as offer tailored solutions throughout the divorce process to help ensure that your divorce goes as smoothly as possible and results in a fair and appropriate settlement.
Whether you are planning to file for divorce or have already filed in Passaic County, Bergen County, Essex County, Hudson County, or elsewhere in Northern New Jersey, our renowned and trusted law firm is readily equipped and committed to assisting you. Contact us at our office in Little Falls, NJ, at (973) 233-4396 for a free consultation to review your individual situation and discuss which divorce resolution method may be right for your case.
