The Influence of Dating while Your New Jersey Divorce is Pending

While dating during divorce is technically legal and may offer some relief, starting to date in the midst of the divorce process can have major effects.

Getting a divorce is rarely a decision that is made overnight. Once you have decided to move forward, finalizing your divorce can take several months or even years. New Jersey’s no-fault system means neither party has to prove wrongdoing to be granted a divorce.  The most common reason cited for divorce in New Jersey is irreconcilable differences. No-fault divorces still require preparation and patience.  There are many components to any divorce, and those hurdles will take time to overcome.  Consider this: you and your spouse have lived apart for several months before you file for divorce.  The divorce process has taken many months and is still unresolved. You are feeling stressed, lonely, and isolated.  Getting back into dating and socializing might be just what the doctor ordered, but it can also be more trouble than it is worth.  Acknowledging the boundaries you should set to protect yourself and the outcome of your divorce is essential.

At The Montanari Law Group, our New Jersey divorce attorneys are dedicated to protecting your legal interests and guiding you through the divorce process as deftly and professionally as possible.  Our seasoned family law attorneys know how painful a divorce can be and can offer you the legal guidance and representation you need to move forward. We can also provide counsel as to how dating could affect your divorce that you can best protect your interests as the case proceeds. Contact us anytime at (973) 233-4396 to discuss your specific situation.

Dating or Waiting During Your NJ Divorce Process: Points to Ponder

Going out to dinner or for a few drinks, dating casually, or hanging out with a new friend from time to time isn’t of major concern when it comes to a divorce.  But when a dating relationship becomes exclusive and serious, it can have implications for your divorce and your children.

Dating May Provoke Your Ex

Regarding the divorce process itself, an embittered ex can refile the divorce as at fault on the grounds of adultery, and the length and cost of the divorce process can increase by two or threefold.  Even when adultery is proven, it does not affect the division of assets or alimony in most cases.  But if your relationship with your spouse becomes even more acrimonious due to your dating life, they could be encouraged to drag the proceedings out, causing further financial and emotional distress.

Establishing a civil relationship with your ex is essential for you to move forward. Healthy boundaries minimize conflict, such as agreeing not to disparage one another in front of your children and refraining from grilling them after visits with your ex about who was there and what was done or said. If you do decide to begin dating, check that penchant for plastering your new relationship all over social media.

Keep Your Finances in Mind

In New Jersey, marital assets are divided according to equitable distribution, a method used by the courts to split the assets and determine alimony in a way that is as fair and equal as possible.  Crazy spending on trips and gifts for a new love interest can affect how things are distributed.  Frugal practices are prudent until the divorce process has ended. Alimony is based on both households’ income, education, career preparation, individual assets, and other financial markers.  When a spouse takes on a live-in partner, assets can become mingled.  Additionally, if a spouse is required to pay alimony and their ex takes on a live-in relationship, alimony can be denied.

Proceed with Caution Regarding Your Children and New Partners

Child custody and parenting time are the most contentious issues in divorce, and dating can complicate matters even further.  If your new partner resides with you and is speculated to be a bad influence or a danger to your children, it could affect your parenting time and the circumstances under which your children can spend time with you.  Your parenting time could be jeopardized if a rancorous former spouse can sway the court.

Introducing your children to new partners should be done slowly, if at all before the divorce is successfully concluded.  They needn’t meet every person you have dinner with, and as you build a relationship with someone, you can gradually expose the children to the idea that you are dating.  Divorce is an earth-shattering experience, especially for children.  The two people they love most in the world, with whom they have shared a life and a home, are splitting apart, and their lives will be forever changed. Spending as much time with them as possible and helping them to work through their feelings should be a priority.  They are grieving, too.  Introducing someone new can seem like a betrayal when nerves are raw, and hearts are tender. Proceed with caution.

Why Self-Reflection Is Key Before Dating Again After Separation

There are important questions to ask yourself before you leap back into the dating pool.  Developing a healthy romantic relationship during divorce requires careful introspection and evaluation of many emotional factors.  Loneliness and isolation can leave you craving company, but learning independence and enjoying your own company are important steps to renewing your inner strength.  Also, a relationship built on the need for companionship rather than genuine feelings is bound to fall apart. Are you truly excited about your relationship, or do you just want to get back at your ex?

Getting professional help is a great way to measure your relationship readiness. Regular therapy sessions can provide you with the tools you need to rebuild your life mentally, physically, and emotionally. The perspective you gain about yourself through therapy will benefit your children, ex, and new partner.  It will provide the space necessary to analyze what is best for you and those you love.

If you are Considering Dating Before Your Divorce is Final, Get Informed Legal Counsel from our Little Falls Divorce Lawyers

Divorce is an emotionally draining, challenging process. If you are considering a divorce, you probably have many questions, including how to decide if dating or waiting is the best decision to ensure the divorce outcome you desire. The best way to get the answers you need is to consult with an experienced divorce attorney. At The Montanari Law Group, our talented lawyers will quickly become familiar with all of the details of your life, emotional, legal, personal, and financial. We can provide an organized plan and strategies to complete your divorce based on everything that directly relates to you, your family, and your long-term goals. Ultimately, our team wants what is best for you and will offer sound advice to avoid potential pitfalls of dating before the final divorce decree sets your former marriage firmly in the past.

Our divorce attorneys are here to serve as your guides and legal advocates along the way. We proudly represent individuals in New Milford, Franklin Lakes, Wanaque, Little Falls, Montclair, Caldwell, Ridgewood, Millburn, Short Hills, and other areas in and around Passaic County, Essex County, Hudson County, Bergen County, and Northern New Jersey. Call us for a complimentary consultation today at (973) 233-4396 or make an appointment online.