Considering a Trip with Your Ex and Children
Is it a Smart Idea to Travel as a Family Even After Getting Divorced?
Family vacations used to be the most cherished time of the year. The whole crew looked forward to the yearly getaway for months; regardless of what was going on in life, everyone could count on that chance to unwind together. Now that you’re divorced, there’s a question about how to move forward with that sacred family time. Do you take your kids on a new adventure, alone? Do you invite your ex to participate in the vacation, with the intention of creating a sense of continuity for your kids during an otherwise rocky period of family transition? If you go at it alone – or with a new partner – what do you need to keep in mind? There are pros and cons to each approach. A family law attorney at The Montanari Law Group can walk you through the complex considerations of the pre-and post-divorce process, as well as set you up for the strongest future with your children through custody and parenting time agreements. Contact our law offices today at (973) 233-4396 for a free consultation. Below you’ll find some things to take into consideration as you plan your first family vacation post-divorce.
Why Family Vacations are Essential for Bonding and Creating Lasting Memories
The primary benefits of vacationing with your ex come from the standpoint of your children’s emotional security – as well as your own emotional maturation. Vacationing as a family like you used to, even though your day-to-day family life has changed, can help ease some of the angst your children may face during the transition. It can show your kids that, even though you and your ex are no longer together, you are still a family. Developing a family bond post-divorce can set the stage for you and your ex to work together as co-parents for your children’s best interests and transform your relationship into its new iteration. The original intention may be to preserve a bit of the past, but it is really a great opportunity to step into the future together in a healthy way.
Understanding the Drawbacks of Post-Divorce Family Vacations
Sounds promising, right? Well, not so fast. For many, the drawbacks of a family vacation post-divorce far outweigh the benefits. Why? Well, while the intention may be to preserve the emotional security of the children (and yourself), it may actually further confuse and hurt them. They may wonder why you can get along so well and yet don’t want the family to reunite. They may harbor false hope that you will get back together after the vacation. On the other hand, if the issues that came between you and your ex in the first place show up on vacation, everyone involved may have to weather the storms all over again.
Important Considerations for Post-Divorce Family Vacations if You Decide to Travel Abroad
If you decide to take a family vacation without your ex, you’ll need to ensure that all of the provisions of your divorce decree are met. Do you need to get permission from your ex to travel with your children? Are there limits on where you can go, as well as dates and time frames? Can you travel internationally? What information are you required to provide your ex with when you travel? Make sure you thoroughly review your divorce decree to confirm that all requirements are met, so you don’t run into legal problems during your vacation. A family law attorney can help you in the planning process.
Strategies for a Smooth and Stress-Free Family Vacation After Your NJ Divorce
- Communicate openly – it’s the key to a smooth vacation, whether or not you’re going with your ex. Prepare the trip well ahead of time, and let your ex know your plans or plan the trip together. Be sure to actively address any concerns, and look at the divorce decree together to make sure all requirements are met. Put plans in writing so that there is no confusion, and make a list with the contact information of all places and people you will visit. Open communication also means checking in with your children throughout the process to keep them abreast of plans and manage their expectations. Encourage them to ask questions, and be honest in your answers.
- Plan well in advance. – Advanced vacation planning gives everyone time to consider the complexities of the situation, get questions answered, and cover all bases from the legal to the logistical to the emotional. Advanced planning leaves plenty of time and space not only for the ins and outs of trip planning to be handled comprehensively but also for you to take special consideration of the needs and experiences of everyone involved. It also gives you time to check in with your travel agent, your attorney, your therapist, and your children to make sure you don’t encounter any surprises during the vacation.
- Remember that you’re teammates. – Though you’re no longer together, you and your ex still form a team. Regardless of how well you get along personally, it is important to remember that your children’s best interests are the most important thing in each of your lives. How can you approach a shared family vacation post-divorce in a way that honors your children’s emotional needs? Be proactive and creative, and you’ll set the stage for a new era of teamwork.
Protect Your Family’s Travel Plans and Get Trusted Legal Guidance for Post-Divorce Vacations from our NJ Family Law Attorneys
A family law attorney is an invaluable part of any post-divorce vacation planning process. The legal team at The Montanari Law Group has the experience and forethought to help ensure that your vacation plans will abide by all legal requirements outlined in your divorce decree. Where there are gray areas, our lawyers will help you take proactive steps to come up with a comprehensive plan with your ex. We have a successful history of representing clients in Montvale, Montclair, Ridgewood, Elmwood Park, Pompton Lakes, and throughout Passaic, Bergen, and Essex Counties, as well as the greater Northern New Jersey area, in all matters of divorce and post-divorce matters. Contact us at (973) 233-4396 today for a free consultation to discuss your area of need.
