How to Position Yourself for Success in Divorce

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, there were 2,140,272 marriages in the United States in 2014 and 813,862 divorces. Among the hundreds of thousands of divorces that occur among Americans each year, every situation is unique, based on the individuals and circumstances involved. The level of contentiousness in divorce exists on a spectrum, ranging from entirely amicable no-fault or uncontested divorces, to knock-down, drag-out battles that are litigated for years. Based on our extensive experience as New Jersey divorce lawyers who have assisted countless clients through every phase of the divorce process, we have recognized some valuable suggestions that can help you to position yourself for the most successful divorce.

Ask Questions

Your divorce attorney should be your guide and your adviser throughout the divorce process, but he or she should also serve as an educator. By asking questions and thoroughly understanding your options, you can feel more in control of the situation and more confident in your decisions. There are no silly questions in divorce, only missed opportunities for answers.

Attack the Issues, Not Each Other

In divorce, you will have a myriad of issues to address, ranging from alimony and division of assets, to child custody and child support. With so many details subsumed in each issue, disagreements will inevitably arise. The critical distinguishing factor in these scenarios is whether or not you attack the issue, or the other person. By viewing an issue as a challenge that you both must overcome, you can work together (or through your attorneys) to confront the question and to identify any and all viable solutions. Remember, the sooner you reach an agreement, the sooner you can move forward with your life.

Manage Your Expectations

Divorces do not occur in a vacuum. They involve two people with differing opinions, priorities, and concerns. If you enter the divorce process thinking that you will get everything you want, you will have difficulty reaching any form of compromise and ultimately, find yourself disappointed. The goal in a successful divorce is to feel satisfied with reasonable resolutions, not to win or to achieve your ideal scenario.

Planning is Everything

Success happens when preparation meets opportunity, right? Well, in divorce, this mantra rings very true. Gathering and compiling all of the relevant information about your life will allow you and your attorney to prepare for the discovery period and to understand what your life looks like now, and what you need for the future. This planning will set the stage for negotiation and trial, if necessary, and will allow you to best address key issues such as spousal support, retirement assets, your marital home, and insurance coverage.

Focus on the Future

Although divorce may feel like a never-ending, overwhelming proposition, it is simply a means to an end. Your divorce should be the avenue through which you pursue your new life. Identifying your plans for the next few years, and even decades, will allow you to devise the best strategy for how to proceed through the divorce process. By mapping out your future plans, you can also communicate with your attorney and facilitate his or her achievement of your goals.

Contact our Passaic County NJ Divorce Lawyers

At The Montanari Law Group, our highly skilled New Jersey divorce lawyers have assisted clients in Wayne, Clifton, Little Falls, and throughout Passaic and Essex counties to effectively resolve their divorces. We address each case and each client as a priority, with the understanding that our client’s deserve the utmost attention and a personalized approach. To discuss your case with one of our attorneys, contact our Little Falls offices today at 973.233.4396 for a cost-free consultation.


To speak with one of our highly knowledgeable attorneys, contact us today at (973)-233-4396 or toll-free at (888)-877-7985. You can also complete the form below to begin your conversation. We are a personalized, boutique-style law firm that offers free initial consultations and flexible appointment options.