Easing the divorce transition for your children

Telling your children that you and your soon-to-be-ex are getting a divorce is never easy. In fact, it may be one of the most emotional and difficult conversations you have with your children, particularly if they are fairly young.

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. However, it can be especially hard for children to understand the whys of the separation and how things are going to be moving forward. However, there are some things you can do to help ease the transition.

— Approach the divorce as a team. While it may seem like the last thing on your mind, it’s important for you and your ex to talk to the children together and encourage the idea that you are still a family even if you aren’t going to be married. This also ensures that both of you are conveying the same message and reassures the children that they won’t have to take sides.

— Be honest but age appropriate. Divorce is serious, and trying to make it sound like it’s not isn’t fair to the children. If possible, let them know why you’re divorcing, but make sure that you don’t go into too much detail or slip into assigning blame. Having a reason for the divorce also helps children avoid blaming themselves.

— Play nice. Do your best not to disparage your ex in front of the children and make sure you are following all court orders. If you do end up having to hire an attorney and go back to court, doing so will likely work in your favor.